The manipulation from someone who has narcissistic personality disorder is described as ‘crazy-making’ because they like to push you to the point where you explode. Once you explode, you are now looked at as the crazy one. Toward the end of an abuse cycle, the narcissist will gaslight their victim to the point where they feel like they might be going insane.

With the narcissist, it begins slowly. They seem like the perfect mate at first, seem to understand you and you allow them into your inner world quickly. They make you feel safe and therefore you let them in. The moment you do, they are learning. They are keeping track the taking notes of your flaws, your insecurities, that one thing your mother said to you when you were 9 that will feel like a corkscrew going through your heart when they use it to hurt you in a fight later. They can be truly brutal.

They will make you feel like you are actually worthless.

The beginning it usually starts with light criticism and they will reply to your getting upset with “I really don’t like uptight people.” They will make sure you know it was a slight but word it in a way that seems like they’re generalizing. The manipulation only gets worse after a big fight or if you have found out one of their lies.

They might lie about something so small - some narcissists lie about literally everything and do not even know what truth means.

When caught in a big enough lie that you call them out, it is likely they will turn it around on you. You are actually horrible for making them feel bad for hurting you. This is a twisted kind of manipulation and it unfortunately WORKS. Most who are with the narcissists are very empathetic. Their sob story about how they were hurt in the past is where they convince you that you ARE actually wrong for being mad that they have slept with someone else or got fired from their job for it.

Whatever happens in the arguments that get explosive - they will choose to blame you for the entire thing. They never said those things you remember, they never did that thing you accused them of.

And round and round we go.