Are you fighting too much?

Being in a relationship takes a great amount of effort. Couples are fighting for many reasons and no two people have the same perspective as to why. This can be very frustrating to experience with someone you felt so close to - and are now starting to resent.

Many times, one person is holding on to pain from their past relationships (whether from a parent or a past partner) and projecting it unfairly on their spouse. They don’t know what to do with their pain and cannot see how it is causing further conflict with someone they actually want to be with - the result of their actions are the opposite of what they want.

Other times, fighting can be due to different attachment styles, love languages, unmet expectations, and communication styles. These need to be addressed in order to have a successful relationship. Understanding that the other person does not think like you, they don’t have the same expectations, and they experience love differently than you - those are all necessary to know but to truly apply changes to the way you navigate the world together.

This is a challenging journey to take, but one that is absolutely worth taking! Seeking therapeutic help for this can repair and bring you closer as a couple. You can learn new ways to notice where the source of the frustrations are, and how to prevent causing conflict within your relationship. A desire to really see them for who they are - good, bad, ugly - is what will allow for therapy to be successful.