What is a Narcissist?
A narcissist is someone who is disordered in their personality. They are considered similar to the psychopath due to their lack of empathy and remorse but are not ALL psychopathic. Motivated by a need for social acceptance and adoration, they will do just about anything to manipulate others to achieve their goals. There is a spectrum to narcissists just like anything other personality type, but if they are truly narcissistic, they are completely incapable of real love.
The really experienced narcissist will seek out people who have the qualities they do not, and learn from them how to fake it. Example: Since they cannot be empathetic they will torture someone who is. They push the empathetic to their breaking point and watch carefully to learn their limits, the emotions they show, and how to act in order to gain a ‘greater’ catch next time. The more they can fake emotions, the more they can seem like a warm and caring person. People are attracted to warm and caring.. and they can be with them a lot longer.
The narcissist has trouble maintaining long-term relationships which makes them look bad to the next relationship they attempt. If you encounter a narcissist in the wild trying to date you, they will most likely tell you their ex was crazy. They also have a difficult time staying in jobs or even cities long enough. Some are lacking in self-control so badly that they burn bridges and get fired, have to move and start over. They lie whenever they need (no remorse). They think and act in a toddler-like selfish way.
The narcissist will take from people and go into major debt. They do not have anything to give, so they take. The only thing that stops them is people waking up to their game and leaving.
They are void. Why? They were never poured into by the only people it matters most to receive (their parents). Not receiving love from your parent is excruciating. As an infant and toddler, they have no way of conceptualizing this and internalize it. They have to jump through hoops and act like a circus animal to receive praise from their unloving parent and this gives them a twisted sense of the world. They become performance artists. No sense of real love, they seek out a false sense of affirmation. They become overtly charismatic and boisterous.
They are the risk takers for entertainment purposes (the guy who jumps off the roof to the pool below so he can be “cool”). They don’t do anything good unless someone is watching or they will receive accolades. They didn’t have anyone helping them through life so they become cold toward others’ needs. No one is more needy than the narcissist, not even a homeless child who is starving. To them, the world now owes them. These people seek positions of power and control. (Presidents, CEO’s, board members, executive management, etc) They have lied on their resume and some do not have the education or skill to successfully maintain that level of power.
Bottom line, they are dangerous and will run through people to get their ‘supply.’ It is very heartbreaking how they got this way, but until they want to pursue self-awareness and healing for themselves - with professional help - they will not change.
… stay tuned for more!